


What If She's Just Gone?

by TaraHarkon



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode: e067-069 Story and Song Parts 1-3, F/M, Spoilers for Episode: e067-069 Story and Song Parts 1-3, Wonderland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 09:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16323539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraHarkon/pseuds/TaraHarkon
Summary: An exploration of Barry's emotions going into the Day of Story and Song.After all, he had just seen a lich be destroyed by the Umbrastaff, hadn't he?





	What If She's Just Gone?

The Umbrastaff flipped inside out as Magnus' body collapsed to the floor and the lich Edward rose from it. Barry could only watch on in horror as the inverted umbrella absorbed the defeated lich and began to jolt around violently. Taako was still lying unmoving on the floor, Magnus was a mannequin, Merle was injured, and still Barry couldn't take his eyes off the Umbrastaff. Lup had had it with her when she left. He was certain of that. She never went anywhere without it. And the boys had found a skeleton. Her skeleton. It had to be. A skeleton in a red robe with an umbrella. That had to be Lup. Could this be what happened? Could she be in the-?

Even before he could finish the thought, the Umbrastaff shook one last time and inverted again, spilling Edward back out. And then... and then he was so much dust. And as Lydia screamed herself into nothingness, Barry felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Lup. The Umbrastaff. He had asked it once before, ten years before on the deck of the Starblaster. What if she was just... gone? Lightning crackled on his edges for a moment. What if she was just gone? What if Lup was... gone? He was shaking apart, threatening to dissolve without that anchor to hold him. The only thing going through his mind was a frantic chant of her name. Lup. Lup. Lup. Then he heard the one thing that could cut through his scattered and swirling mind in that moment: Taako's voice.

That was the only thing that reminded him that he couldn't give up now, couldn't scream himself into the void like Lydia had done. No, he still had brothers, still had family. Taako. Magnus. Merle. They still had to get to Davenport. Still had to make Lucretia explain. He would figure out what to do after that. Maybe... maybe find the Starblaster and leave. It was their best option after all. And if they left on the Starblaster, Lup would come back.

That was the hope that he clung to as they made their way to his cave. That and the knowledge that he would forget again when he was back in a physical body. At least until they were successfully inoculated, this burning ache in his chest would only be a weight he didn't understand. Even still, as the boys settled into their campsite for the night and he was left alone with the darkness and the knowledge that the Hunger was almost here, all he could see was the moment that the Umbrastaff had spat Edward back out and he'd dissolved. The image was burned into Barry's mind and he desperately wished that he could just forget it, could just force it away. They didn't have long. He just had to hold it together long enough to see Taako through. He wouldn't, couldn't, fail his brother. Not again.

"You'll remember me, but I won't remember you." Barry moved towards the vivification pod in the corner of the room and looked over at the others. Merle with his wooden arm and his missing eye, his hair gone even grayer. Magnus... poor Magnus. And Taako with the walls he hadn't had since their mission had first started and with a cold distance he'd never had. Taako, without Lup to smooth his edges, without Lup to bring out the best in him, without Lup to trust. "Hey Merle, be a bud and grab me some clothes out of that chest. I'm gonna be naked as a jaybird when I get out of here."

Infiltrating the Bureau of Balance headquarters was a blur and soon enough (far too soon) they were standing in Lucretia's secret office around a tank containing a baby Voidfish, Fisher's baby, and Barry's memories were streaming back quickly. Lup. Fuck, how could he have ever forgotten Lup? And then it came crashing down again as he heard footsteps coming towards them. Wonderland. Edward and Lydia. The Umbrastaff. The sound of a lich screaming herself to pieces as she lost control without her bonds, without the anchor of her brother. Gods, please, no. Let that have been something else, anything else, that had happened to Edward. Make it because of how long he'd been a lich or because of the Animus Bell or anything else. Just please, if there was any fairness, any justice in this world, let that not be what had happened to Lup.

The Hunger arrived just as it always did. A standing, unmoving, unwavering storm of darkness that stood over the sky and slowly sucked the color from the world and waited for its chance to seize the Light of Creation, just like always. But this time there were only six of them standing against that darkness. And where the fuck was the Starblaster? (And gods, where was Lup?) And his friends, his family, they were so different now. Ten years, he had searched and he had been alone. Ten years, he had been the villain in Lucretia's story. But those were ten years where he hadn't been a part of this world, and they had been. They had forged new bonds. They had found new reasons to need to stay when all he had was one reason to leave. 

But then that little boy had held the Umbrastaff in his hands and something amazing had happened. And a spark of hope had kindled in Barry's heart again. Taako raised the Umbrastaff in his hands and Barry knew, knew, that his brother had realized it too. And when the room filled with fire, it forced the cold fear that had been steadily filling his veins back and left him with only love for the woman who floated at the heart of those flames, phantasmal and resplendent. He didn't know how he could have ever doubted her. 

And when the first words out of her mouth were to tease her twin, Barry knew that everything was going to be okay. 


End file.
